What you’ll learn today

Have you been hurt by someone else? Have you had a tough time letting it go? None of us are strangers to hurt. Thanks to the fall of mankind (Adam and Eve disobeying God), hurt is a part of the human condition. Today we are going to learn about how to forgive and let go of hurts. The Word of God is our standard for truth, and it tells us everything we need to know to live for God. We’ll see from the Word that forgiving and letting go of hurts is God’s will for us, and that it is therefore good for us, and good for others.

The mental health aspect

Forgiveness and letting go of hurts positively affects our mental health. We’ll see from Apostle Paul’s 2nd letter to Timothy that our mental health is something God cares dearly about, and has cared about long before mental health was cool.

2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV) – For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

“Sound mind” is the Greek word sōphronismos and is defined as “self-control, moderation”. When someone offends or hurts you, whether by words or by actions, and you’re thinking about that person and what they did to you, are your thoughts in control, are they moderate?… Or are they bitter, condemning or wrathful? When we hold on to hurt, we don’t have a mind that is moderated and in control. Those negative emotions come from the flesh, which means the old man nature from before we accepted Jesus Christ in our heart and were born again. A sound mind is not where these negative emotions live, a sound mind is a place where Christ rules. The holy spirit that God gave us when we were born again empowers us to defeat those fleshly emotions and restore our sound mind. What does Paul tell Timothy to do in the verse before?

2 Timothy 1:6 (KJV) – Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands.

Paul tells Timothy to “stir up” (Gr. anazōpyreō) the gift (referring to holy spirit) of God, which means “‘to kindle up / kindle anew, to inflame in one’s mind”, it’s an action! Rekindling the holy spirit is done by renewing your mind to the Word of God, and it’s not passive, it’s an active transformation.

Renewing your mind

Romans 12:2 (KJV) – And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Rekindle the holy spirit inside you by claiming your sonship, which is to say recognize that you’re a saved child of God who is going to heaven and loved completely regardless of other people’s actions or opinions.

Philippians 4:7 (KJV) – And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Rekindle the holy spirit inside you by claiming God’s promise of peace that passes understanding.

Psalm 34:17 (KJV) – The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

Are you righteous? Yes – because Jesus Christ made you righteous by his sacrifice. So rekindle that holy spirit inside you by claiming deliverance from your troubles. Call upon the Lord knowing He hears you and delivers you.

Philippians 4:8 (KJV) – Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Reconnect your brain activity with the pure, perfect, and living Word of God by thinking about God stuff: His wonderful works and virtues, and He’ll wash away the hurtful thoughts and emotions.

The effects of a renewed mind

When you’re thinking about the virtuous works and character of God, you’re not thinking of that person who cut you off in traffic, or lied to you, or lied about you, or stole from you, or cheated you, etc. Instead, your thoughts are purified and are pleasing to God. Hurtful thoughts hurt you. Keeping your mind stayed on God, His works, and what He’s done for you and your friends and family is great for you mental health.

The New Testament doctrine is clear:

Colossians 3:12-15 (KJV) – Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

I like how a DJ on the radio station Spirit 105.3 put it the other day: “It’s hard to be thankful when you’re angry.” God redeemed us and made us family, placing us all in the church to serve and be served. It’s healthy for the church for each of us to forgive. Practice thankfulness for everything, and you’ll grow in forgiveness.

What does the science say? I asked Google what holding a grudge does to your health, and the AI summary said, “Holding a grudge acts like chronic stress. Reliving the past offenses elevates cortisol and adrenaline, which can suppress your immune system, disrupt sleep, and increase your risk for anxiety, depression, and heart problems.”

Holding onto hurt is literally an issue of the heart. If you continue to give your heart to God, He’ll handle the healing. God didn’t design our body to dwell in bitterness, He designed it to inhabit the holy spirit and be healthy. Forgiving heals the hurt from the inside out.

Old Testament truth bombs

Let’s get some practical advice from King Solomon. He was gifted by God with “wisdom and understanding exceeding much, and largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the sea shore” (2 Kings 4:29).

Proverb 17:9 (AMP) – He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, But he who repeats or gossips about a matter separates intimate friends.

What is the effect on the household of forgiving vs. repeating an offense? Well, forgiving helps us move forward but repeating offenses holds us back.

Proverb 19:11 (AMP) – Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger, And it is his honor and glory to overlook a transgression or an offense [without seeking revenge and harboring resentment].

Why is it good to overlook a transgression? Does this mean we should be okay with sin? Well, seeking revenge is repaying sin with sin; we don’t want to be like the world, we want to represent God by loving people. We should not be tolerant of sin, instead we should recognize it, stop it, and forgive it.

Proverb 24:29 (AMP) – Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for his deed.”

Why should we follow this advice? Well, repaying sin with sin causes hurt. That’s the very thing we’re trying to get rid of!

Proverb 25:21 (AMP & NKJV) – If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;

What effect does giving to others, even our enemies, have on ourselves and on them? Well, being giving to others produces love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, and faith (the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5), to us and others. Our acts of love can win people to God and deliver them from their hurt. When we do that, we are doing the work of an ambassador for Jesus Christ.

In conclusion, spread love

We’ve talked about our mental health from the New Testament, the Old Testament, and have even learned some secular knowledge from a Google query. Let’s conclude this article by learning about how to treat others from the Gospels.

When you’re in fellowship with God and have a sound mind, you’re 100% more likely to treat others better than when you’re holding a grudge. What’s the 2nd greatest commandment?

Matthew 22:39 (KJV) – And the second is like unto it [the first commandment], Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

It’s hard to love when you’re hurt. When someone hurts you, the hurt is no longer theirs, it’s yours to deal with. So it’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do with it. Are you going to fan the flames with the old man nature by dwelling on it, or are you going to extinguish it with the new man, the holy spirit you? The answer to hurt is healing. When we heal from our hurts through forgiveness, we become more able to distribute the love of God that healed us. That love yields fruit.

Let’s give no attention to thoughts about what people did TO us or what we’ll do TO them. Instead, think on what you can do FOR them. You can help others become free from of their hurt through Jesus Christ. Therefore, forgive and let go of hurts so that you can 1) maintain a sound mind and have peace, 2) love others as God loved you, and 3) have a positive spiritual impact on your friends, family, church, and community!

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Would you like to learn more about how to love one another? Check out my recent article Love One Another!

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